Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
