We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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