how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
