I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
