the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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