I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
