i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
