he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
