you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
