So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Randomize
