4 words: hood of his car
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
