I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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