i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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