i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
