you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
