Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
