Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
