do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize