Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
