I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
