he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
