called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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