I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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