Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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