the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
