South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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