were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
