Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
