Too much gin, very little bucket
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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