Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
How's work?
Spinning.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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