she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
