I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
You took a bar mat shot.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize