I bet he comes in French.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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