sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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