she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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