it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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