Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Acid is not a monday night drug
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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