I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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