He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
