Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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