evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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