The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
