i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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