Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
