Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize