you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
