so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize