Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
