I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize