her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
do herpes really smell.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
