I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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