No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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