How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
