when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Actions speak louder than pants.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
