I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
